


House of Memories

by wavydanrises



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Honestly this is so fluffy I don't know how I'm breathing still, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 01:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10652502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wavydanrises/pseuds/wavydanrises
Summary: In which Phil is away, and Dan reflects back on their life together





	House of Memories

Dan was laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. He was thinking. He was alone, Phil had gone on holiday in Florida with his family, and should get back in four days. Four days is a ridiculously short amount of time, right? Dan knew that. But still, he missed him. It just felt… wrong, to be in the flat all by himself. It was too quiet. And cold. Seriously, it was freezing. Bloody London weather.

He threw a quick glance to the clock, and grimaced. It was 10pm, and he hadn’t done anything all day. Yikes. He intended to take advantage of Phil’s absence this week to film a video and he hadn’t even started to work on it. But if he was completely honest, he knew he wouldn’t do anything productive without Phil to push him to do it. He was the worst procrastinator in the whole world.

He sighed and sat up, crossing his legs on the green and blue duvet. He reached for his phone, thrown somewhere on the bed and quickly checked his twitter mentions. Not that he totally intended to read them, but the little bubble marked “99+” was annoying the hell out of him. He scrolled down a bit, and smiled when he saw all the tweets of people asking if he was okay during Phil’s absence and if he was still alive. To be fair, he hadn’t been very active lately. He kind of spent his life playing games and making comments out loud before he could remember that nobody was there with him. Hey, that was only embarrassing if people knew about it.

There was the occasional complaint about how fucked up his uploading schedule was, of course, but he knew most of them were jokes. He ignored the truly mean messages. Now was not the time for a self-hate journey. It hadn’t been for a long while. He decided to tweet something, for the maybe three people who were actually wondering how he was coping. These three people including Phil, obviously. He knew Dan would be fine, but he knew Dan wouldn’t admit it to him, if he was feeling lonely. And Dan knew Phil knew how he worked. That was why they were a great pair.

_i keep forgetting i’m on my own and making random comments out loud. pretty sure the neighbours think i’m going insane._

_@AmazingPhil if we get kicked out it’ll be your fault for abandoning me. and you’re missing out on a lot of great puns. your loss m8_

He smiled at his own tweets and put the phone away, laying down once again. Phil wouldn’t see it before a while, if Dan remembered correctly he was out visiting something mysterious. Okay, it was only mysterious because Dan had forgotten what it was.

He looked up at the ceiling again, and a wave of nostalgia hit him without any warning. How rude.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and let himself drown in the memories.

He remembered how he felt when Phil first replied to him. He couldn’t believe it. Yes, he had been sending him awful loads of tweets and comments under his videos, but still. It was too amazing to feel real. He was so excited that he could barely stand still for more than two seconds.

He remembered the Skype calls, the countless texts they sent each other. How nervous he was when they decided to meet up for the first time. How it had been hard to convince his mother to let him go, and that _no Phil is not some kind of dangerous person he’s 22 not 50 please he’s my best friend it will be fine_. How often he had wished to have left without telling her, because she was so damn stubborn, but so was he and he definitely was not going to let this occasion slip away. How ridiculously happy he was when she had finally agreed, more from exhaustion than anything else.

He remembered how Phil had convinced him to upload his first video, how scared he had been to become visible on Youtube, because he had no idea if this would work and he didn’t even really know what he was doing.

He remembered the first time they saw each other for real. It didn’t quite seem like reality. But when he hugged Phil for the first time after months of craving it, he knew he wasn’t dreaming. That was even better than a dream. Because he could feel Phil’s hair tickling his cheek and Phil was even taller than him and _how was this fair._

He remembered how agonizing it felt to go back home and be alone again. Not alone per se, but he was too much accustomed to Phil’s presence, even if they had been in the same place for no more than a couple of days. That felt normal. He had hated having to go back to Skype calls and having to handle school. They always had trouble being away from each other.

He remembered the many train rides to Phil’s house, how he felt at home there. How Phil’s parents had welcomed him immediately and without asking questions, and were always unbelievably nice to him. How he had wished he could stay there forever.

He remembered when he started uni and hated it, but that was alright because he was living so much closer to Phil and was always at his flat anyway. Phil had always been there for him, be it when he struggled with self-worth, the fact that he hated law with a burning passion, when the existential crises started kicking in, and eventually when he had a breakdown and dropped out of uni. He felt like he had disappointed everyone, including himself, but Phil helped, once again. His parents were not as quick at overcoming their disappointment.

He remembered when Phil offered to share a flat. How excited he was, buzzing with happiness, both from leaving his shitty uni room, and living with his best friend. One of those reasons was more important than the other, though.

He remembered than one night when he finally told Phil he loved him. After 2 years, he just couldn’t hold it back anymore. It was late at night, way too late for any of them to still be up. But there they were, blindly watching whatever was on TV, their shoulders pressed together. And Dan just said it. He wasn’t expecting or hoping for anything. He just wanted it out. But Phil had smiled and pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head and said “me too”. To this day, Dan was still mildly convinced his heart had stopped beating for a second.

He remembered 2012, the good things as much as the bad ones. That had been a weird year, for both of them. They had moved to London and got a radio show, their channels were growing unbelievably fast - and Dan had gotten scared. Too many things were happening and too many people being nosy at once, and even though he loved Phil with every fiber of his being, he was scared. He hadn’t been comfortable with his sexuality at the time, not when lots of people were assuming he was gay purely basing thheir assumptions on the way he dressed and acted. He wasn’t even out to his own family for fuck’s sake, he didn’t need that kind of pressure. He had never been good at dealing with what scared him. That was no excuse for how he behaved at the time, but he was over it now. He had outgrown this time as quickly as possible, thankfully.

He couldn’t remember much of the last few years. There had been so much happening lately, with the book, the tour, the other book, going to America, Australia, and Europe… It had been one of the best things to ever happen to him, but he was tired. Then there had been Spooky week, and Gamingmas, and he just needed a _break_. That’s why Phil had gone on holiday with his family -they just didn’t have the time before, and that was a sort of tradition for the Lesters.

He suddenly realized his phone was ringing. He extended his arm and barely opened his eyes to answer. It was Phil, not surprising since it was about 5pm in Florida.

“M'hello?”

His voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat, silently hoping Phil wouldn’t comment on it.

“Oh sorry, did I wake you up?” Phil asked.

_Crap._

“Nope.” He paused. “I was just thinking.”

“The good kind or the bad kind of thinking?”

Dan smiled. “Was thinking about us, actually.”

“Oh. The good kind then, I hope.”

“The best kind,” Dan chuckled. “You know, we really did spend a lot of time together over the last seven years.”

Phil laughed, and Dan was firmly certain that was his favourite sound in the world. Not that he would ever admit it, he would never confess being so sappy.

“We certainly did. Not that I would’ve minded spending even more time together, at a certain time in 2009. Crap Dan, if me leaving makes you think about when we were apart in 2009 I’m not going to let you behind ever again. Especially if you start to talk to yourself. I kind of like this flat, you know.”

It’s Dan’s turn to laugh. He knew Phil would see his tweet. And he knew it was his way of asking if he was okay.

“I don’t mind thinking about 2009, are you kidding? We’ve had some great times.”

“True.”

“Hey, Phil? I think I’m in love with you.”

He could hear the smile in Phil’s voice when he answered “Really? That’s nice, because I’m in love with you too.”

“We’re such dorks, oh my God.” Dan stated, and they both burst into a fit of laughter.

“We are. But that’s why we’re together, really. Come on, you should get some sleep. And stop tweeting depressing things, your followers are worried about you.”

“Hey, I’m allowed to, you left me here all alone, what else do you want me to do, I’m lonely.” He protested.

_Shit, please don’t pick up on this._

“Stop complaining, and go to sleep. In five days I’ll be annoying you with random facts and you’ll wish I never came back,” Phil joked. Dan groaned in disagreement. “I’ll call you back tomorrow. Good night, Dan.”

“Good night. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

As soon as he hung up, Dan rolled on his side and grabbed a pillow. He would survive without Phil as long as he had to, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss the cuddles. Hell, he really did miss the cuddles.


End file.
